So maybe pregnancy wasn’t a part of your plan. It may take time for you to process this news and how it will affect your body and your life.
But there’s another person whose life is about to change too.
Telling your partner about an unexpected pregnancy can cause a lot of anxiety, especially if you don’t know how they will react.
Whatever his response, it often changes how you feel about the pregnancy. Just know you’re not alone.
Here are a few helpful tips on how to tell your partner you’re unexpectedly pregnant.”
How do I tell my partner about an unplanned pregnancy?
1. Confirm you’re pregnant first
It might be a good idea to confirm your pregnancy before you have a conversation with your partner. Sometimes pregnancy symptoms and at-home pregnancy tests aren’t always accurate. The best way to confirm you’re pregnant is to confirm with a medical-grade pregnancy test.
Care Net offers free, confidential medical-grade pregnancy tests that are highly accurate.
Confirm your pregnancy by scheduling an appointment today.
2. Take time to care for yourself
Panic mode tends to drive impulsive decisions. Take time to do activities that help decrease your stress levels like exercising, taking a few days off work, or spending time outside to help you process how you are feeling.
When you take time for yourself to sort your emotions, you will be in a clearer place to speak to your partner and be better prepared to respond to whatever his reaction may be.
If you need help sorting out your thoughts, our team of advocates are here to support you and help you process what you may be feeling.
You may need to process some of your options moving forward. It can also be helpful to consider your other sources of support, besides just your partner.
In the case that your partner’s initial reaction is not supportive of the pregnancy, many women find that they have a lot of support from family, friends, or other sources of help. You may choose to continue your pregnancy journey without your partner. Taking the time to know yourself, your strengths, and what you stand for will help you be in a more secure place to tell your partner.
3. Plan to tell your partner in person
Communicating in person will help eliminate any misunderstandings and help you both process this information together.
Pick a time and place that is private and allows time to talk through both of your feelings together.
When you share the news, you can use phrases like, “We’re pregnant” or “We’re having a baby.” This communicates that this situation requires both of you to accept and respond to it.
If you are concerned about safety, do not feel like you have to meet with him one-on-one, especially if you expect an aggressive response.
4. Be open and honest
It’s important to be fully open and honest with your partner about how you are feeling. Tell him your worries and what you’re excited about. Tell him what you would like to do about the pregnancy and that you really value his true feelings and opinions and want his input. Allow him the space to communicate what he is feeling as well.
5. Give space for his reaction
Give him time to process this information. Remember you’ve had some time to process this information. This is his first time hearing it.
If he responds negatively, give him some space. His initial reaction might not be true to what his intentions and feelings towards the pregnancy are long-term. If the conversation starts to escalate or you feel threatened in any way, remove yourself from the situation and seek help if necessary.
And remember, even if he doesn’t come around to the same conclusion as you, it will still be okay. Your support system doesn’t have to look like just your partner. Family and friends are a great support system to lean on. Our staff at Care Net is also here to support you.
6. Discuss next steps together
If you want your partner to be involved in this pregnancy, talk about what next steps might look like. Discuss what you envision the future to look like and what you are going to do to get there. Maybe your next steps can look like telling your parents together or having him attend your future appointments.
If your partner is pressuring you to get an abortion or you are considering it to make sure you and your partner stay together, read how to handle this decision here.
Find Support at Care Net of Puget Sound
Whether you are looking for pregnancy options, a medical-grade pregnancy test, a viability ultrasound, or someone to talk through your unexpected pregnancy with, we are here for you.
We offer free pregnancy tests and consultations and viability ultrasounds. No insurance required. Make an informed and empowered pregnancy decision today.
