If your friend told you she’s pregnant, you might be at a loss for what to say. The truth is, she’s probably not looking for the right answer to her situation. She just wants someone who she trusts to confide in and listen to her. 

Here are 5 ways you can be there for your friend who just found out she’s unexpectedly pregnant. 

Supporting a friend through an unexpected pregnancy.

1. Listen First, Avoid Trying to Fix

Finding out you’re pregnant can stir up a lot of emotions. Let your friend process what she is feeling. Listen without judgment. Your friend is likely seeking support, not immediate answers, advice, or opinions. Unless she asks for your thoughts, refrain from sharing your opinions.

2. Speak Hope, Not Fear

If your friend is really upset, it might be tempting to contribute to the anxious thoughts and respond with questions of fear and what-ifs. Instead of unintentionally piling onto the fear, she needs your optimism and support. Try saying something like “It’s going to be okay” or “I’m here for you, you’re not alone.” 

Remind her of how capable she is. Remind her of things she has overcome in the past and how she’s come out stronger. She needs to be uplifted and reassured that this might not be what she planned, but that doesn’t mean her life can’t still be good.

Oftentimes, people respond in these situations saying they will support whatever choice she makes. This sometimes puts more pressure on her and makes her feel isolated in this decision. This is a big decision to have to make alone. A lot of women wish just one person would have stood up and told her they will help her see this through if she decides to parent. Be honest with her. If she is still with her partner, and the relationship is healthy, encourage him to speak up and be a part of this decision too. Here is a good article to help him navigate this unexpected pregnancy too: My Girlfriend is Pregnant: What Do I Do?

3. Remind Her She’s Not Alone in This

Remind her that she’s not on this journey alone. Finding out you are pregnant when you weren’t planning on it can feel lonely, especially if the father is not involved. Remind her that she will not go through this alone. At Care Net of Puget Sound, we are here to offer support and guidance as she navigates pregnancy options and challenges.

4. Help Her Confirm the Pregnancy

At-home pregnancy tests are highly accurate but not always. The best way to know for sure she is pregnant is to get a medical-grade pregnancy test and ultrasound. We offer free pregnancy consultations that include pregnancy testing and a viability ultrasound. Your friend can confirm her pregnancy and find out how far along she is. These evaluations can help rule out any complications like an ectopic pregnancy or miscarriage and give her a better idea of what abortion options are available to her if she’s thinking of termination.  

Offer to join her at her appointment. Having someone there with her can show her she has support she can trust.

5. Show Up in Tangible Ways

This newfound information can be really overwhelming. Offer to join her at her appointment, help out around the house, run errands, or bring her meals. She may be experiencing a lot of stress as she tries to process everything. 

Make sure to take care of yourself too and don’t overexert yourself. Avoid making commitments or promises you can’t keep. Help where you can but don’t feel like you have to be everything for her. Most likely, all she needs is to know she has someone by her side.

Is She Considering Abortion?  

If your friend is considering abortion, our medical professionals and advocates can provide abortion education in a safe and confidential environment. Our pregnancy evaluation and consultation will help give her peace of mind and empower her to choose what’s best for her and her situation. Since we do not offer or refer for abortions, our centers provide a safe and non-judgmental place for her to process and make an informed decision.

To ensure your friend’s health and safety, a pregnancy evaluation that includes an ultrasound and intake of medical history is an important first step to take before any abortion.

All of our services are free of charge, with no insurance required.