Finding out you are pregnant can ignite many strong, and sometimes conflicting, emotions in both you and your partner.
If you are unexpectedly pregnant, you might be feeling a lot of pressure from your partner to choose abortion. But maybe you’re not sure that’s what you want. Pressure from those you love can make the decision even more confusing.
It’s important to remember that no one can make you have an abortion or choose something you are not comfortable with.
Here are helpful steps to take when your partner wants you to get an abortion.
What do YOU want? What are YOU feeling?
So you know how your partner feels about the pregnancy, but how do you feel?
Ask yourself, “Do I want an abortion? Is this the best decision for me and my body? Will I regret this decision later?”
Emotions can be overwhelming. It’s especially easy to make rash decisions based on your current emotions. It’s common to experience regret after making an emotion-based decision, so it’s a good idea to make sure you aren’t making a decision based on what you’re currently feeling.
Sometimes writing out your thoughts and emotions can help you clear your mind and identify what you’re really feeling. It’s helpful to decide what you want before you let others’ opinions and feelings sway yours.
You can feel confident in what is best for you when you understand how you are feeling.
Talk to him and listen to his concerns too
Your partner wants you to get an abortion, but do you know why? Sit down with him and discuss why he thinks this is the best option. Does he feel like he’s not ready to be a father? Does he feel like his freedom is being taken away? Does he think finances are a problem?
Maybe he told you, “I support whatever decision you choose,” but you know deep down he really hopes you will choose the option he thinks is best. Maybe he is afraid to be a parent, especially if he has not had a father figure in his life. At Care Net of Puget Sound, we have support for dads where we offer free mentoring to fathers.
Whatever his reasons, your reasons matter too. Tell him your concerns, your fears, and why you might not agree with what he wants. If he is a good partner, he will listen carefully and respond with respect and understanding.
How you fight and resolve conflict during this decision may be an indicator of whether your relationship is healthy or not. Chances are an abortion will not solve your relationship problems but only magnify them.
What if you can’t agree on a decision and every conversation turns into a fight? What if he doesn’t want anything to do with you and the pregnancy? Getting help from trusted friends and family who know what you value can help you see the big picture.
You may be at a place where you are deciding if you are okay with being a single mother. This is a big decision and one that takes great support from those around you. It is important to seek the counsel of those who have walked similar paths and who understand how to support you.
Find the right support
It’s normal to want support from your partner throughout your pregnancy and while raising a child. If your he won’t agree on a decision and you still want the baby, it’s time to find support from others.
Your support group can consist of your family, friends, and local organizations. There are countless organizations ready to help you with pregnancy options, finances, housing, support, and more.
At Care Net of Puget Sound we are here to support you. We offer free appointments to talk through options and connect you with helpful resources. We can walk you through all your pregnancy options – abortion, parenting, and adoption so you can make an informed decision with confidence. We do not provide or refer for abortions.
Schedule an appointment to talk with one of our clinic staff today.
Remember, at the end of the day, the decision is yours to make no matter what anyone tells you.
